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All is vanity.
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I think I might buy the new Nine Inch Nails album.
Old article I found before I went to bed this morning when I was searching for much different things with similar keywords:


http://www.nytimes.com/2005/07/05/health/05sex.html?ex=1278216000&en=5a82f18cadf2ad83&ei=5088

I can go from sulky because we're all so fucked up to entertained in three seconds flat with the right distraction.





17th-Apr-2007 10:33 am - I'd cry, but I'm too desensitized.







They'll continue making posts saying, "The professor who died shielding his students' bodies was a holocaust survivor. It's breaking my heart," And, "One of the victims had a 4.0 GPA. Such a waste," all day today and maybe tomorrow, between comments about toxic pet food, David Beckham's massive cock, and  Brangelina overexposure. After that, they'll forget about it completely.
4th-Apr-2007 05:08 pm - I'm addicted as I want to be.
Bet neither of the two of you who actually read my mental puke know where those lyrics are from. I mean without Google's help. Don't worry, it's not worth bragging about. I can't imagine why I am.

Anyway, I'm posting about the med again. I haven't had any dreams for two nights now and I'm feeling very good. I think my brain is getting used to Wellbutrin. In fact, I think it might like it.

God, I hope it doesn't give me a seizure after admitting that. And yes, it can give people seizures, I'm not making it up.


Other stuff I want to say:

Em (who is not one of my two loyal readers) said I should post real things, but maybe I went too far on that last entry. You know, cause it got no responses. Not complaining; it's probably impossible to think of an appropriate reply. I do hope you found it at least somewhat interesting though. In any case, it's my favorite thing on this lj so far.

Started Gender and Media today. Looks like an interesting class. Not ecstatic about it, but I'm happy.

Ml, how do you feel about lending me X-day and Under the Glass Moon? I'm not even entirely sure the latter series is yours anymore, but whatever. Anyway, there's this manga fangirl I know and I think she'd love them. In fact, she might decide she's interested in buying them.
I have four recurring dreams. Or, I've had four. Now I have three.

One of them I haven't experienced in years, but it was a very good one. It was set in an impossibly big toy store.

Another involves fighting with my mom. The setting changes, and the length and seriousness of the fight vary. Sometimes I can hit back. Sometimes I can't move and she beats the shit out of me. I have had one dream like that since starting Wellbutrin. The overall vibe may have been a little bit darker, but it was the same dream I've had at least half a dozen times in the last year and a half.

I often have dreams about men withholding sex from me. Usually they're men I don't know, men who don't exist. Occasionally, they aren't. I have had one like this as well.

The last one is a chase dream. I can't remember when it started. I'd guess that I had gotten some variation of it every year or so up until late high school. More recently, it's been every few months. Before last night, I'd had it twice that I can recall since coming to college. I am running from someone who wants to kill me. Different person or thing every time. The setting never changes. It's the neighborhood I grew up in, as I remember it from my childhood. I am never scared. Instead, I'm detached. Even the part of me more involved in the dream, the me trying to escape, is calm. Sometimes it's fun. Last night, running from Schillenger, the villain from the tv show OZ, I don't remember getting any feeling at all from the dream. There was a white sheet covered in blood hanging from my parent's deck. It was the first time there had been blood. Maybe there was something written in it, I can't remember. But it wasn't mine. I had no idea where it came from. It didn't particularly bother me. In this dream, I have never been caught.

How's all that for blatant meaning?

Charlie wants me to keep him updated on my dreams because of the drugs. They've gotten much more frequent, and a little less pleasant than usual.
2nd-Apr-2007 03:46 am - Side effects
Right now I'm feeling uneasy. Woke up in the middle of the night, because Wellbutrin does that. Felt weak. It's not supposed to do that. It was and is extremely disconcerting, and I haven't read anywhere about it happening to anyone else.

I was jittery and had a headache yesterday. That's normal.

My mouth currently tastes exactly like a rubber band. Rare, but not unheard of, if I recall correctly.

I need to get back to sleep.


Oh, and Gateway let me drop Steven's shitty class but refused to let me replace it with anything. No real reason why, it just didn't.
28th-Mar-2007 02:06 pm - I'M ON DRUUUUGS!
Not really, but soon. Soon I will have my legal drugs. Lots of them.

Also:
I've decided that I look pretty much exactly like the child of Mulder and Scully (and I'm absolutely OK with that now), but I'm thankful I'm not really because it would be very upsetting to find my dad sexy.
My GP agrees with me that the Bitch Doctor is a big, big bitch, even though she didn't say that at all.
Hottie string theorist/math god Brian Greene and I have the same birthday, only he was born 25 years earlier.
Jules et Jim is such a kickass film.
I can't stop drinking the good, free coffee.
Emily's room is pretty.
I really do think I look like their kid. Seriously. I do.

My favorite people I have never met who are still alive, excluding Ze Frank:
1) Brian Greene
2) Aaron McGruder
3) Prince
4) Reza Aslan
5) Grant Naylor, who is actually two people who count as one



My dad happened to mention to me this afternoon that he'd heard some guy talking about string theory on the radio. I immediately slipped into insane fangirl mode and screeched, "OHMYGAWD WAS IT BRIAN GREENE?" He wasn't sure, so I asked, "Did he sound like a normal guy or did he speak in a sort of hushed voice?" 
"He sounded like a normal guy, and everything he said made a lot of sense. I could understand all of it."
Normal sounding string theorist who makes sense to people with no background in science? I knew it could only be one person. "OHMYGAWD IT WAS BRIAN GREENE!"
"He was doing a book signing today."
Whaaaa? 
Dad didn't know where, so I looked online. Couldn't find anything about a book signing, but he was doing a lecture later in the day. To make a potentially long and boring story short, I went to go get a ticket at the Seattle Center because they wouldn't let me buy one over the phone or from ticketmaster's site, but I couldn't afford what was available by the time I got there. In the end I got a really lovely meal with Jamie and met her boyfriend who seems like a great guy, but I am still disappointed.

23rd-Mar-2007 12:06 am - Hell yes, I am.
Fantastic quiz. And dead on too, as my philosophy matches his so well. It's cooler to prefer Tesla these days because his life was so tragic and he was pretty much Tom Cruise crazy, but I like Einey more.



If you're in the mood for a little etertainment: http://similarminds.com/leader.html
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